Hard to believe the time has come, but Julio has asked me to post this for him. Just a heads up it is a long post! - DB
Up To The Minute With Julio
To start off my first and only conversation of this WCP, against popular belief I have not posted on this site to date. Obviously there are many out there that can only dream of being Julio, and their best approach to fulfilling that fantasy is by pretending to be me. To each their own, and I guess after years of being a celebrity of these blogs... I shouldn't expect anything less. This is my thread and I will only reply to this thread. Oh how I can't wait to hear the same anonymous bashers say the same things over and over and over. I wasn't going to make any posts, but I decided to make a brief appearance..... seeing as soo many people think they know me, might as well give them something to complain about. (Jesse... like who are you? Obsessed much? All good I'll give you an autograph just bring a custom made Julio Tee. Sorry I started this post just a tad bit differently for you)
After reading some of the posts on the blogs, I decided to do some digging to bring everyone the latest and greatest of the news surrounding the tournament.
1. Weight Gain
Unlike many of the soccer players present in this tournament, David Brown and I have both gained a ridiculous amount of weight over the past 12 month. The weight gain can't really be attributed to anything such as knee injuries requiring surgeries; rather than our desire to just get old and fat. Apparently on these blogs everyone else is in tip-top shape that I would really like to know how they manage to do it. The only other person that can't seem to get to the proper level of fitness for this prestigious event seems to be Mike Collins as he drinks 2.5L of vodka daily to replenish his liquids lost.
2. Scouts & Professional Contracts
Obviously because only the finest players in the world are developed in Regina, scouts from all over the world have already bought season tickets to the event. Rumor has it that all the big names are out looking for the next Ronaldo and a few players have attracted some serious interest. Baffling to myself and maybe everyone else as well, Chico did not get a lucrative 7 figure deal after last year's tournament, that my only guess is that he is holding out for an 8 figure contract from one of the world's top clubs. Rumors are swirling that scouts from the newly formed women's professional league will be in attendance, which have many believing that the perennial all-star and MVP candidate Paco may finally get the spotlight he greatly craves and desires.
3. Golden Boot & MVP No surprise here people, but one player has won all the major awards this year even before the event started. Darko was named top goal keeper, MVP, and the recipient of the coveted golden boot earlier today. Rumors are swirling that because Darko is the first player to win the WCP trifector a monumental statue will be placed at the entrance of the soccer center. The statue will depict Darko as he roasts Paco before he scores the tournament winning goal in this year's final. Yes you heard it here first, Colombia and Serbia will make the finals and Darko will be the hero.
4. Manager of the Tournament
Soheil Summers was expected to be a shoe in for this award. After creating another elaborate 10,000 formations and an additional 800 set pieces, the self appointed "yoda of futbol" has stepped down as manager of his respective club. Recent reports indicate that Soheil has accepted a position as Chico's hype man and agent, as a big pay day is looming in the wings. With no manager remotely close to Soheil's quality, the only other recipient who is worth recognition is Kirk Evans. Rumors from the German camp are that Kirk has started developing the new wave of top talents by teaching them all the skills he knows.
(Oh Kirk here is a clip of me teaching kids how to slide tackle kids from behind and dive; thought I'd share it with you. https://www.facebook.com/austin.boryski/posts/452588311477035?notif_t=story_reshare)
5.Tournament All-Star Team
With the WCP tournament being widely regarding as the mecca for soccer, it is rumored that not even Messi would be able to crack the tournament all-star team. The talent pool is deep and even the world's best are making an effort to make the journey to Regina for this tournament, but time will tell how many will actually be picked up by their respective nations. The following are my predictions for the Tournament's starting 9:
1.Flavio Bravo (GK): Lest we not forget that Flavio is still the recipient of custom made gloves by the Greek god Vulcan himself.
2.Scotty Myrah (D): No one runs harder than this guy can, I am pretty sure he covers the whole field in one sprint. Endless working and never out of position because the whole field is what he can cover. I know that every time he touches the ball he will beat you with sheer speed!
3.Darko (RB, LB, CM, RW, ST, LW): Darko is so good he can play up to 7 positions at once. A threat to score from anywhere at anytime there shouldn't be a doubt in anyone's mind on why Darko managed to capture the coveted trifector.
4.Paco (ST) Arguably not only the toughest player, but the self proclaimed best player to ever set foot in the province of Saskatchewan, Paco is known to bring fear to everyone around him by his posts of intimidation and disregard for others. Don't you dare cross the tiny little demon in case you fear taking a swift kick to the back of the leg.
5.Kirk Evans (BW): One of a kind talent. When I first saw Kirk play I really thought it was the first time he touched a soccer ball, but little did I know. Kirk is technically savvy and a magician with the ball... somehow every time he touches the ball its seems to disappear and end up in his own net.
6. Free Agents
I am not sure if this guy is a quality player or not, but from reading some of the post he is a bad player but nonetheless, Brett Levis is currently on the free agent market. Rumors are swirling that he isn't up to the quality that is needed for this tournament, that no team wants to waste a roster spot on him. To console the aspiring player, Chico has sent him a signed pair of Chicolicious briefs, while the great Darko sent Brett a text merely saying "Head up champ, not everyone can be as good as Darko." What is remarkable about this story is that the level of talent is so deep this year, that players like Levis will be forced to be on the outside looking in.