Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Julio's Last Words

Hard to believe the time has come, but Julio has asked me to post this for him. Just a heads up it is a long post! - DB

Up To The Minute With Julio
To start off my first and only conversation of this WCP, against popular belief I have not posted on this site to date. Obviously there are many out there that can only dream of being Julio, and their best approach to fulfilling that fantasy is by pretending to be me. To each their own, and I guess after years of being a celebrity of these blogs... I shouldn't expect anything less. This is my thread and I will only reply to this thread. Oh how I can't wait to hear the same anonymous bashers say the same things over and over and over. I wasn't going to make any posts, but I decided to make a brief appearance..... seeing as soo many people think they know me, might as well give them something to complain about. (Jesse... like who are you? Obsessed much? All good I'll give you an autograph just bring a custom made Julio Tee. Sorry I started this post just a tad bit differently for you)

After reading some of the posts on the blogs, I decided to do some digging to bring everyone the latest and greatest of the news surrounding the tournament.

1. Weight Gain
Unlike many of the soccer players present in this tournament, David Brown and I have both gained a ridiculous amount of weight over the past 12 month. The weight gain can't really be attributed to anything such as knee injuries requiring surgeries; rather than our desire to just get old and fat. Apparently on these blogs everyone else is in tip-top shape that I would really like to know how they manage to do it. The only other person that can't seem to get to the proper level of fitness for this prestigious event seems to be Mike Collins as he drinks 2.5L of vodka daily to replenish his liquids lost.

2. Scouts & Professional Contracts
Obviously because only the finest players in the world are developed in Regina, scouts from all over the world have already bought season tickets to the event. Rumor has it that all the big names are out looking for the next Ronaldo and a few players have attracted some serious interest. Baffling to myself and maybe everyone else as well, Chico did not get a lucrative 7 figure deal after last year's tournament, that my only guess is that he is holding out for an 8 figure contract from one of the world's top clubs. Rumors are swirling that scouts from the newly formed women's professional league will be in attendance, which have many believing that the perennial all-star and MVP candidate Paco may finally get the spotlight he greatly craves and desires.

3. Golden Boot & MVP No surprise here people, but one player has won all the major awards this year even before the event started. Darko was named top goal keeper, MVP, and the recipient of the coveted golden boot earlier today. Rumors are swirling that because Darko is the first player to win the WCP trifector a monumental statue will be placed at the entrance of the soccer center. The statue will depict Darko as he roasts Paco before he scores the tournament winning goal in this year's final. Yes you heard it here first, Colombia and Serbia will make the finals and Darko will be the hero.

4. Manager of the Tournament
Soheil Summers was expected to be a shoe in for this award. After creating another elaborate 10,000 formations and an additional 800 set pieces, the self appointed "yoda of futbol" has stepped down as manager of his respective club. Recent reports indicate that Soheil has accepted a position as Chico's hype man and agent, as a big pay day is looming in the wings. With no manager remotely close to Soheil's quality, the only other recipient who is worth recognition is Kirk Evans. Rumors from the German camp are that Kirk has started developing the new wave of top talents by teaching them all the skills he knows.

(Oh Kirk here is a clip of me teaching kids how to slide tackle kids from behind and dive; thought I'd share it with you. https://www.facebook.com/austin.boryski/posts/452588311477035?notif_t=story_reshare)

5.Tournament All-Star Team
With the WCP tournament being widely regarding as the mecca for soccer, it is rumored that not even Messi would be able to crack the tournament all-star team. The talent pool is deep and even the world's best are making an effort to make the journey to Regina for this tournament, but time will tell how many will actually be picked up by their respective nations. The following are my predictions for the Tournament's starting 9:

1.Flavio Bravo (GK): Lest we not forget that Flavio is still the recipient of custom made gloves by the Greek god Vulcan himself.
2.Scotty Myrah (D): No one runs harder than this guy can, I am pretty sure he covers the whole field in one sprint. Endless working and never out of position because the whole field is what he can cover. I know that every time he touches the ball he will beat you with sheer speed!
3.Darko (RB, LB, CM, RW, ST, LW): Darko is so good he can play up to 7 positions at once. A threat to score from anywhere at anytime there shouldn't be a doubt in anyone's mind on why Darko managed to capture the coveted trifector.
4.Paco (ST) Arguably not only the toughest player, but the self proclaimed best player to ever set foot in the province of Saskatchewan, Paco is known to bring fear to everyone around him by his posts of intimidation and disregard for others. Don't you dare cross the tiny little demon in case you fear taking a swift kick to the back of the leg.
5.Kirk Evans (BW): One of a kind talent. When I first saw Kirk play I really thought it was the first time he touched a soccer ball, but little did I know. Kirk is technically savvy and a magician with the ball... somehow every time he touches the ball its seems to disappear and end up in his own net.
6. Free Agents
I am not sure if this guy is a quality player or not, but from reading some of the post he is a bad player but nonetheless, Brett Levis is currently on the free agent market. Rumors are swirling that he isn't up to the quality that is needed for this tournament, that no team wants to waste a roster spot on him. To console the aspiring player, Chico has sent him a signed pair of Chicolicious briefs, while the great Darko sent Brett a text merely saying "Head up champ, not everyone can be as good as Darko." What is remarkable about this story is that the level of talent is so deep this year, that players like Levis will be forced to be on the outside looking in.


38 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have to give Julio respect the quality of the kids in that video is quite remarkable for that age. Vast improvement. Good to see that kids are actually being taught the right things.

Julio what is the time span between the first clips and the last ones?

Anonymous said...

Flavio Bravo = the worst goal keeper in the history of the wcp. He wins that award hands down. Awful to watch this guy and his brother player. Just speaking the truth, so settle down people. If you watch any soccer at the wcp, you can't deny this. That is all.

Anonymous said...

Great post Julio. I had a great laugh as I am sick of Darko and Paco posting on this blog as if they are legends.

Paco you played less minutes that Shaan Kapila, enough said!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the shout out Julio! Although most of what you said (if not all) is not accurate. Either way I had a good laugh.

Iv seen a bunch of posts the last few days on how much playing time Paco and Shaan had with Huskies and I gotta say if that is pretty weak material to beak someone on. Both those guys played CM behind guys like Brett Mitch Dion and now Eoin. Just because you don't play doesn't mean you don't have value on a team. I'm not saying Paco and Shaan are all-stars by any means but they are good players.

MyrahS

Anonymous said...

Summers is a tool. He's not even good enough to coach kids let alone men. He has no control of his teams, he let chico do whatever he wanted. I feel bad for Afghanistan they have no chance with him their

Anonymous said...

Hey Mike, how about a top 10 referee list?

Anonymous said...

Myrah is living proof you can ride pine in CIS and still be THE MAN! Someone not playing could be their position has talented players (as Scotty noted), or thecoach just doesn't like them. Doesn't necessarily mean they are brutal. I'd take Myrah on my team any day and he was red shirted a couple seasons back.

At least these guys are training on a regular basis and trying to play at the best league they can, unlike some of you anon bloggers that probably can't do anything with a soccer ball unless you're on a couch controlling a video game character. Sitting on a bench in CIS and being in a full time training environment is better than any other adult soccer player in Sask gets to do.

Great post Julio! I'm loving the Darko and Paco banter this year, it's good to get such legendary players going toe to toe on the blogs. I'd like to see a Darko vs Paco full field match in place of the old bronze medal match. Soho could coach one player and Saskatchewan's newest coaching phenom Julio can coach the other player.

RIGGS

Anonymous said...

I see ppl say that I keep talking crap to pack and others but it wasn't me, someone was using my name and saying crap to others but it's okay I'm not bashing anyone or think I'll win golden boot :) - Darko


(He actually posted this using his real account I just had to edit out his swears!-DB)

Anonymous said...

this was a waste of sarcasm and time to read, I couldnt even get past a couple lines on each numbered segment, just boring and dumb and apparently everyone in stoon who plays soccer looks forward to this tourny so they can blog and be annoying as sh*t, everyone blogging is from stoon basically, not sure why they get so excited about talking to eachother on a blog when they all live in the same city and prob see eachother each week at soccer facilities. julio just say something useful for once that doesnt have a beak in or got some dumb sarcastic thing nobody cares about. you prob still have some of that "special" shampoo in your hair from sask U15 haha and its making you DUMB!! its all most WCPCUP time maybe just worry bout improving yourself and making use of your time before you have to make a bunch of trips down to your favorite city in the whole world!! P.S. why does stoons world cup suck so bad and theres no blog or excitment for it? Hodel

Anonymous said...

Here is a link that proves sask soccer is growing!

http://m.whitecapsfc.com/news/2013/03/whitecaps-fc-launch-saskatchewan-academy-centre

Anonymous said...

Hodel-
I had written a reply to your useless comment, but then I realized it'd be a waste of time. Unfortunately you just highlighted the poor mentality that many people on this blog have. Surprisingly after years of posting anonymous you finally put your name behind a post, but I already knew you were one of the anonymous bashers that continuously made an appearance. To each their own and I guess it's something of merit to be anonymous trash talker with minimal playing ability.

Myrah-
Obviously the facts aren't accurate that was the point of the posts! I thought you deserved a shoutie after all these years.

Anon-
My kids started training last November and that footage was over a 12 month span. I am quite impressed with them and maybe one day they will be top talents in this province as their work rate and dedication is second to none.

Julio

Anonymous said...

This sarcasm just is useless. Good riddens to Julio and his crappy posts that no one is interested in. What is this a University class. Who wants to sit and read that garbage. Like either get to the points and state some actual facts, so shut up already. It's getting old and stupid and I don't care for your humour. Do you wonder why you are not really liked on this blog? Anyways, GOOD BYE for good. Useless dud with no talent.

Anonymous said...

Paco is better than Darko, that much I know. Darko thinks of himself as a star. Can't wait till this guy fails. He's not getting the golden boot. Play him tight, don't let him turn. If he turns, drop him like a fly. Simple. He won't get by me, that's for sure. I guarantee that much. The adult teams are for men, not children like Darko.

Shout out to Paco for standing up to this Darko guy. Also Paco, who cares if you only played limited minutes on the Huskies. Better than what Darko has done. Atleast Paco plays not video tapes div 4 games of himself scoring goals, and yes I've comfirmed it to be a true rumor. LAME!!!

-Alec

Anonymous said...

Thats awesome, finally we'll see some growth in a deadbeat system.

Congrats to Bryce chapman.


Summers


Anonymous said...

As a new comer to these blogs I had a good laugh reading this. I know exactly who these comments are directed to and it is funny that all the people that take this event too seriously are upset!

Anon 15:25, Paco, Darko, and Hodel you guys are all glaring examples of what is wrong with soccer in our city. Hodel sounds like a boy with a long standing grudge, Paco and Darko are egomaniacs and Anon 15:25 is whining. Of course you would get upset over a post like this but a great example of a good attitude is Myrah. He had a laugh and understood the humor involved.

People this is a casual event. This is not the world cup. I know some of you guys get excited to play on the same field as some quality players but realistically not many of us can actually compete with the top tier of players in this province. If there were more top tier players in this province, then this province would be a lot more successful. So enjoy the tournament but realize that some of you guys are taking things way too seriously.

Anonymous said...

Hodel who are you trying to kid?! You never played U15 Sask! You are a joke!!! The "special" shampoo was a prank that we played when Julio was in U17 and you deadbeat losers were a U16 training group that all got released because you were horrid!

Paco why did you stop posting your names on posts buddy?!?!
Anon 15:25 = Paco


-Joker

Anonymous said...

I'm sick of people taking me for a JOKE! I can't wait to show everyone that I am the best player in the province as I know how to play at a high level!! So what if Kapilla played more minutes than me. Everyone will see who the real MVP is. Darko shut your mouth and don't say another word! Joker why don't you post your name!

No one dare make me made or else I will make everyone who made fun of me cry!!

-Paco

Anonymous said...

The joker is finally coming closer to revealing himself. The list is narrowed down to someone who was on that u17 sask team who put "special" shampoo in julio's hair. Maybe that's why hes so greasy

Anonymous said...

HAHAH keep guessing little fat boy Kirk!!!! There's more than one joker by the looks of it as I haven't been on here since this morning! HAHAH This is getting interesting as Paco must just be confused!

Who is this Hodel person?!?!

-TheREALJoker

Anonymous said...

Is anyone else surprised that Craig Hodel is such a punk? I never liked that guy very much and he seems like a complete backstabber. What were you trying achieve by posting with your name Hodel? Respect? As you are a spineless individual. I am not sure where you get off with your post.

It seems like it is a Saskatoon blog because everyone from Saskatoon is willing to post with their names and to contribute to the conversation. All you did Craig was show that you were bitter about some special shampoo.

-AngryWCPFan

Anonymous said...

I'm a bit dissapointed you didn't give a shout out to Bart in your goodbye speech julio. I didn't think you would let him off the hook that easy, or in his case, pole.

Anonymous said...

Top Cry-Babies From Regina
1. Craig Hodel: talks trash about everyone behind their backs and walks around like he is a star.
2. Kirk Evans: Posts as Joker on this blog but also posts anonymously.
3. Paco Brown: Who does he think he is with some of his posts? I am hoping it is a fake Paco as he has hit a new low in my books.
4. Jhanzeb Anjum: This guy is so bad and he bad mouths everyone else.
5. Flavio Bravo: I agree with whomever posted that he was the worst GK in the history of the tournament but the sad part is that this guy thinks he is unreal. So bad.
6. Darko: I am not even sure where this guy is from but his back and forth banter with Paco is annoying.
7. Alek: I don't think anyone has posted as much as this guy just trashing people. Where does he get off saying the things that he does.

After looking at this list I am disgusted to be a part of Regina soccer. So many cancerous individuals. No wonder we seem to be regressing as a city.

Anonymous said...

who are you

Anonymous said...

thanks for the post bart, you forgot your name at the bottom.

Anonymous said...

please don't start bringing up bart. It was nice not to hear his ignorant and annoying opinion

Anonymous said...

Bravo terrible. Paco, however, definately more talented than Darko. Paco is always a treat, Darko, well people have figured out his style of play. Try and change it up a bit buddy, be a team player. You are never going to win anything with your attitude, especially if you think you can be a one man show just to win some stupid golden boot. Good for you buddy. You shouldn't even call yourself a soccer player with the attitude you have towards the game. We need more team players and less individuals out there. No younger players developing need to learn from players like you. Get lost Darko.

Mike Collins said...

Regina soccer is hilarious because the people who think there are "cancerous individuals" are the "cancerous individuals". Yikes

Anonymous said...

Collins ... your post above describes yourself. Good job you mess. You are probably the biggest "CANCER" in this wcp cup tournament. Just saying ...

Anonymous said...

I personally think Flavio Bravo should be put back in GOAL this year. Give him a starting role. I almost pissed myself laughing watching this guy. He should be a comedian because he made everyone upstairs laugh. One guy even dropped his beer because his play was just that bad. LOL:)

Anonymous said...

what team did flavio play for before, loving the hype wanna see him

Anonymous said...

who ever made the list for "cry babies" i would love to know who u are ? and let me judge how good u are!

Jhanzeb Anjum

Anonymous said...

Shut up Jhanzeb!!! You are a total loser and pathetic! You suck almost as much as Paco!!

-The Joker

Anonymous said...

Lol says the guy hiding behind the name joker. Comon on the pitch lets see how good you are.

Jhanzeb

Anonymous said...

Jhanzeb, I will take that challenge any day. You are brutal, so don't post like you are any good. You are so bad that it hurts my eyes to watch you. Let me teach you a lesson on how to play.

-Darko

Anonymous said...

Jhanzeb stop running your mouth. No one thinks you are good. Even your friends admit to how brutal you are. Your cocky attitude is disgusting as you don't have anything to be cocky about.

Anonymous said...

Dario who are you again?

And anonymous at least I got friends.

Jhanzeb

Anonymous said...

Jhanzeb you are a complete loser and trash! You walk around like you are good but you are downright awful!

Some friends you have. They all say you suck.

Anonymous said...

How about you put your name tough guy

Jhanzeb